...and now, back to regular programming.

Pictures from Slow Jams, The Actors Studio Bangsar, 27th March 2006 follow.

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Warren Chan starts the set with mellow tunes and falsetto of the highest order.

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Azmyl Yunor brings up the tempo with some professional busking.

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Tan Sei Hon is a certain shade of green, singing about love in the key of folk.

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Jasemaine Gan sings confidently in the dark and represents the Chinese acoustic scene on this side of the English acoustic scene (she and other singer songwriters beat Daniel that Malaysian Idol 2 guy anytime.) Check out her trilingual songs, yo.

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Jaz reads interesting poetry again.

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Wei Jenn (I'm not sure of her name) the storyteller.

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Broken Scar sounds more macho and full in The Actors Studio's excellent sound system. Go buy his album, yo.

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Reza Salleh crooning with the (unseen) girls swooning.

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Jeremy featuring Kevin of Qings & Kueens and Izzy Mohd, his Plush Velvet bandmate. He did a cover of John Mayer's cover of N*SYNC - Dirty Pop, some songs with that Dave Matthews-ish vibe but with a nasal intonation much like Brian Molko of Placebo. I asked him to cover Placebo, and he said, "hey yeah! I like Placebo!"

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Zalila Lee featuring the censored Jerral Khor.

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Nicole the ever photogenic diva of Rhapsody.

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Melina of Tempered Mental is joined by Reza on guitar, and Ywenna of Rhapsody on keyboards, with backup dancers Kevin, Alda and Nicole. Memorable sight indeed! It was also then that my batteries all ran out. :(

So people have been asking what surgical procedure I performed on the camera my good ol' schoolmate Bernard donated to me to make it come up with funky infrared pictures. This is what I did:

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From left to right, top to bottom:

• The Fujifilm Digital Q1, before operation.
• The front.
• I opened four screws in the back, and I pried the front cover open. (Don't touch the big capacitor; it still stores a big electric charge, used for your camera's flash.)
• I opened more layers until I reached the back, where the LCD screen was, and the final screws which held the infrared cut filter in place.
• From the front. Note the black thing in the middle; that holds the infrared cut filter.
• The 1/2" CMOS, exposed! (Don't let dust get on this.)
• I tried to push out the infrared cut filter.
• A handy Philips screwdriver, the infrared cut filter and the back plate, in infrared.

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Left: Two negatives in front of the lens to block out normal light, and a few layers of negatives on the flash; right: opened, for 'mixed mode' where it gets infrared and normal light.

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From left to right, top to bottom: (All shots unedited, just resized.)

• My first expression when I assembled it back, and it worked! It could see infrared light.
• Okay, this picture was from before; the camera could never focus properly, being a fixed focus camera with a macro range of 60-120cm.
• The 'mixed mode' lets in natural colors and a good dose of infrared.
• Infrared only, but because I removed the infrared cut filter, the camera became shortsighted!
• I bumped into Asyraf Lee at KLCC during this fashion show, and he hinted at what infrared photography could do...
• ...which wasn't true. Plus my camera couldn't focus that far, so yeah, it would take very specific lighting and heat conditions to do what he said infrared photography could do.

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Well, at least somebody said, "Hey, I don't remember wearing that top..."

So uh... does anybody know anybody who knows how to cut glass to specific dimensions? I'll pay to have my camera have good focus range... or, I could salvage the manual focus lens on my infrared webcam and put it on the camera! (The infrared cut filter holder is not the same size, so some hacking and superglue might be necessary...)

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Jasiminne told me something very interesting at the gathering. I'm not even fully extending my fingers, and yet I believe her theory is wrong, or my fingers are unporportionately shorter than the rest of me.

The plus sign denotes people not originally not on the list, because Jolene said we could bring a friend. People struck out did not come, yeah 14 of 40 invites, or 35% FFK rate.

And now, for Part 2 of that gathering. I shall attempt an attendee list, based on the original list by Tan Yee Hou:

1. Albert
2. April
3. Aprilcherrie
4. Avril Chan
5. + Barry (Suet Li's boyfriend)
6. + Brandon (Aprilcherrie's boyfriend)
7. Calvin
8. Calvin Tay
9. Chee Kiang
10. + Cheesie (*I* invited her okayyy you picture takers you)
11. Cheng Sim
12. Chung Lern
13. Dustyhawk
14. Elaine
15. Eliza
16. Fireangel
17. Jasiminne Yip
18. Jason Lioh
19. Jennifer Ooi
20. Jolene Lai
21. + Julie Kuan (from It's A Group Thing)
22. Justin Wong
23. + Kampungkai (Chris) (Jason Lioh's friend)
24. Karen Siah
25. Kimberlycun
26. Kurt Low
27. Kyels (Kye Lee)
28. Laynie (Elaine Chow)
29. Lainie
30. Lee Cheng
31. + Leona (Elaine Chow's friend)
32. Mervyn
33. Eyeris (Michael)
34. Minishorts
35. Paul Tan
36. + Richard Goh (April's boyfriend's friend)
37. + Ronald Li (April's boyfriend)
38. Sarah
39. Slinky (Mun Hoong)
40. Smallswong
41. smashpOp (Jason Goh)
42. Suanie
43. Suet Li
44. Tan Yee Hou
45. The Other Kenny (Kenny Ho)
46. Vincent
47. Weng Lum
48. Yee Pei
49. Yvonne Foong

So there was a blog gathering organized by Jolene, and while everybody took pictures, or sat around saying "I'll steal your pictures later okay?", I will offer something different other than shots of us at Dome at Midvalley, or jumping on the pedestrian bridge outside Secret Recipe (I suggested the location, yo!)

And so, I present various bloggers, in infrared. I didn't snap everyone, though. I love infrared portraiture because there are no colors to muck around with, and very little Photoshop needs to be done, since infrared hides your pimples and blemishes and reduces the need to wear colored contacts to look funky.

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Left to right, top to bottom:

• Leech is first because I must thank her for her generous donation of a 16 Megabyte xD Picture Card for my Fujifilm Digital Q1 (I'll blog about it, and the process of modifying it, later.)
• Dustyhawk, Leech and I were at Killiney's, as I wanted to try their hot milk tea and toast (or teh and roti bakar). Nothing compares to Uncle Lim's still, but this is close.
• Luzzio, Jolene's brother.
• Jasiminne, who uh... doesn't look different in infrared.
• Laynie looks like a clown.
• Suanie eats April Yim's strawberry earring (because she can't hook it on her infected ear, yo!)
• The Other Kenny looks different in real life.
• FireAngel is holding two extra fingers up. I think she's lacking coordination due to general lack of alcohol.

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Oh and let's not forget Cheesie and Sweatlee. If either of you gets casted in a horror movie and gets an award on stage because you were spotted here, please remember to thank me.

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Cheesie shows that unlike Korean ghosts who just scare people to death, she is multitalented and is able to play physical killer, too, strangling poor Jasiminne until she turns white.

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Of course, nothing beats diligent Tan Yee Hou, who took pictures with almost everybody and listed who came and who didn't. Yes, people, head over to his blog for the full list.

Regular pictures will come later. As for why nobody knew or publicized it, it was a secret gathering meant for non-PPS-celebrity, young bloggers who haven't got jobs and cash to splurge on alcohol. I think. But thanks for recognizing me, people!

Because somebody I read said, "Everyone who blogs and reads this blog, just do it.", I guess I'd do it.

1. My uncle once:
Sold pimpin' paste-on designs for cars. In the '90s.

2. Never in my life have I:
Won the lottery. (Will irony strike me wrong? Please?)

3. The one person who can drive me nuts:
Hmmm. I don't even remember ever been driven nuts. Unless poking the person to stop using the f-language counts.

4. High School is/was:
A place where I was very quiet, and a place where I'd see a bunch of hopeful-looking socialites who turned out to be nowhere to be seen in the socialite world. Are there any SMK Sultan Abdul Samad PJ party people out there? Or did they all turn out to be people who'd come back from Australia not alcoholics?

5. When I'm nervous:
I wish I could disappear. No, wait, self-destructive thought! I wish everyone else would disappear. Isn't that a more positive, constructive way of looking at things?

6. The last time I cried was:
When I discovered the wrong way to hold a pepper spray. Kidding!

7. If I were to get married RIGHT NOW my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be:
Shaz. Because he loves to wear his tuxedo (and maybe I could put some pressure on the boy).

8. My thoughts:
Exactly.

9. When I was 5:
I wasn't all that skinny. I think I stopped gaining weight there.

10. Last Christmas:
Was on the 25th of December, 2005. AHA! See? I remember, despite the copious amounts of alcohol that was passed around!

11. When I turn my head left, I see:
Jenifer packing up and leaving our office for good. Where will we ever find a camwhore as shameless to replace you?

12. When I turn my head right, I see:
smashpOp, a shameless camwhore.

13. When I look down I see:
My sexy legs. Yes, they are sexy. Rocket once had the honor of seeing them when I wore shorts, and she said I had athletic legs. (Most of the time I wear long pants which don't show anything.)

14. The craziest recent event was:
When a wack guy ran up to me and said, "GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!"

15. By this time next year:
My hair would be very different.

16. I have a hard time understanding:
Real-time strategy games.

17. One time at a family gathering:
My grandfather told a story. No, not just any story... a grandfather story.

18. You know I "like" you if:
I raise my hands to make the inverted quote sign, and say "I like you".

19. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank is:
Myself, for getting myself in such an awesome predicament, and getting acknowledged for it. Often, we fail to credit those who are most vital to our success - ourselves!

20. My ideal breakfast is:
Free.

21. If you visit my hometown:
You might be the victim of a snatch theft. It has happened twice in front of my house already.

22. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon:
My bedroom.

23. Boys are:
Not stupid, and should throw rocks at girls.

24. Today I:
Ate a dory fish. I forgot what I did after that.

25. The world could do without:
Spam.

26. Most recent thing you've bought yourself:
A canned drink?

27. Most recent thing someone else bought you:
I don't remember, but I sure could use a car.

28. My favorite time of the day is:
Between 8 and 10pm, when I'm the most awake.

29. My favorite quote is:
"Impotence is not hereditary."

30. I need:
You, baby.

31. And by the way:
I tried to say I'd be there, waiting for.

32. The person who I last talked to told me to:
Tell you that you should thank me for entertaining you.

33. Once, at a bar/club:
I drank tap water because I didn't think Coke was worth it.

34. Last night:
I sampled a bit of KFC's new Original Recipe Chicken Chop, and I loved it.

35. There's this girl who I:
Think is so incredibly hot I wanna pour the KFC Original Recipe Chicken Chop gravy on, and then lick it off her.

36. There is this guy who I:
Think is a sneaky bastard, and yet, I admire his sneaky tactics.

This morning, I heard an attempted snatch theft. Yeah, heard, not saw, as I was walking out the passageway of the house. A scream, and a loud motorbike screech was heard. (And my uncle, still sitting, who was reminding us to look for the license plate number.) By the time my mom and I rushed to the door, all we saw was a distraught girl with a handbag, and keys. At least she was alright.

My mom then urged my father to walk her to the bus stop, where she was headed. Perhaps it's a good thing that my dad looks scruffy and suspicious somewhat, because while he isn't a criminal, a thief would pick on much more innocent-looking prey.

Which explains somewhat, why I want to look badass, with my messy long hair and goatee. Better to be scary than to be scared, yes? I can blend in with Central Market without weirdos coming up to me, saying, "No, I'm not a gang member." anymore.

Sure, I get stopped by the police once in a while, but I just show them my IC and tell them of my good intentions. I actually sigh in relief, knowing someone who looks as scraggy as me gets stopped, because there are less messy-looking criminals out there.

This attempt happened right in front of my grandma's house, about the same place where my sister was robbed. Now all we need is my grandpa (on the other side... of the family) to sit in the porch with a shotgun.

Anyway, I have to agree that Handbags are like virginity.

Why do girls carry handbags?

In a way, to me, it helps objectify women as objects, where a bulging purse would spoil the curves.

I have major respect to Fireangel, who I've never seen with a handbag, and appreciates cargo pants.

Of course, it could just be that their purses are huge and double the length... of mens' wallets. Maybe we should give girls name card holders to use as wallets, as a practice in minimalism.

I don't see why ladies want smaller and slimmer phones, and small cameras, when their handbags can fit digital SLRs, a few lenses and a corded phone.

What else is in there? Make up, for touchups.

We should have powdering rooms in Malaysia. That way, women need not carry make up kits around. Make sure it is well furnished with all tones. This could be a business, with disposable brushes sold in vending machines. A coin-operated perfume spraying machine could also do wonders! Instead of having perfume sold in expensive bottles, have perfume companies sell vending machines to shopping malls. Best part about it is, any other woman can get a preview of the smell, being in the proximity, and if she likes it she can spray herself too.

I swear I get the best ideas while on the porcelain throne.

So on April Fool's Eve 2006, I went to Little Havana, Changkat Bukit Bintang, for LiveHouse presents Cosmic Funk Express.

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I invited my friend, who brought his friend (romantically depicted here), and I played with his friend for the night. It was a Canon EOS 350D with an EF-S 17-85mm, F4-5.6 lens. Suuuhweeet. The place also had excellent hawaiian pizza with great stretchy servings of cheese.

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The 17-85 zoom lens inspired me, what with the darkness, to use a slow shutter speed with flash. Guess which ones came from the 350D, and which came from my teeny Canon Powershot A520!

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Then, there was also flashing, then quickly moving to expose on the rest of the frame.

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I think these trippy effects are best used to define the music of Cosmic Funk Express.

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Zack taps with two guitars, so I doubled him.

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Exact speeds vary based on intensity of flash, but it works best when the subject is brighter than the background.

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Izwin sings L.O.V.E. and some contemporary classics in the second half.

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Zack plays Tiesto... on piano. He also played the Doraemon theme song.

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Alda feels left out, so I give his bass green rays of envy. I reckon that there was a strong green light on him after zooming out, to create this effect.

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Alex sends out drummer-tentacle hooks. The band then plays the strangely familiar, secret bonus song which they never wrote.

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"Whoa. Did we really just play that?"

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My friend suggested I look for the black and white option, and I found a way to bump up the contrast and sharpness for this. It looks like he got poked in the back.

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Yes, that is a hairband on his guitar neck, not a guitar capo. (To mute open strings and ease guitar tapping.) Yes, I wear a guitar capo on my hair, not a hairband.

"One more! Two more! Jimi Hendrix!"

I figured, Alda deserved a vocal break, so I requested for Eric Johnson - Cliffs Of Dover, a guitar shredders' anthem. Yup, you'd hear the main riff being ripped off in KC & Jojo - All My Life!

What did I think of the 350D pictures? I used ISO1600 all the time, with shutter speeds faster than 1/20 seconds, if I was not using the slow shutter flash effect. The F4-5.6 could be limiting, and the lens was already expensive as it was. The pictures did have noise, but NeatImage, a noise reduction software, practically wiped it out (in comparison to any digital camera, where the noise is removed but still leave behind blotches of color.)

As for how I did the zoom-slow-flash thing, you need a manual zoom lens (not the motorized one like in the Canon Powershot Pro1). Set a slow shutter speed, maybe 1/4 seconds. Press the shutter and rotate zoom ring at the same time. The faster you do it, the more distinct the two pictures.

As for how I did it with the A520... well, I moved my camera nearer or further by extending my hands to get the zoom effect. :P

Ice Age 2

As I entered the cinema hall, I saw children everywhere. Well it was a kids' movie, right? I feared the worst, with kids crying and asking silly questions.

However, thank goodness, the movie was good and captivating enough to shush the crybabies and simple enough that there was only one silly question at the end, by a very silly boy - "he didn't die?" as the squirrel entered the gates of heaven. Nothing a little religious education can't fix.

I liked that it wasn't all about the voice actors (Shark Tale) or how the supporting characters were a lot more memorable (Madagascar). I also liked how it wasn't heavy, or a preachy, emotional epic, like Finding Nemo, Brother Bear or A Land Before Time. Even Chronicles Of Narnia felt heavy. I watch kids movies to be entertained!

Rojak!

Anyway, on Friday, I headed to KLPAC with Elaine and Bernard to watch Rojak!. A bunch of plays, each with its own message. It was also lighter than The Homecoming, thankfully, and the only play tough on the brain was the one with Rauf, guitarist for Flatline.

They started with sales girls trying to pitch their dresses to a customer. Vicious and vivid? Yes. However, they could've slowed down the conversation pacing - they didn't look like did not have to think of the comeback before reciting the comeback (and I believe that makes a world of importance in making a play believable.) Like not taking a breath before the punchline. An example of perfect comic timing? Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Thankfully, the next one, a conversation at a mamak, was better timed, and didn't have the pretentious salesgirl accents. The next one, about ah happy family, was very amusing indeed.

Emily KICKED ASS as a prim and proper tai-tai holding a party... where nobody came. The part about RSVPing and then FFKing spoke volumes (since I didn't originally but the tickets for Elaine and Bernard!)

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She played a similiar role on the boat play; always prim and proper and aunty-ish, ironic because I knew she was one of the youngest on the cast.

It was only after the intermission that I started taking flashless pictures. As a challenge, I turned off the live view, so the only light on the camera was the power indicator. I intentionally shot from the hip, just like a lomo camera, so pardon the bad vertical aim! Settings? Manual exposure, 1/30 seconds, brightest aperture, ISO100, and when the actors and actresses came closer to the audience, I had to drop it to 1/60 seconds to avoid overexposing.

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The only sound that came out of it was the mechanical shutter, a bit too loud for my liking. A n00bish uncle behind was bip-bopping with his Fujifilm. I almost wanted to offer to silence his camera for him. Elaine wanted to snap too, and I silenced her Fujifilm S7000.

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There was a British-like monologue about applying for Malaysian citizenship, another funny one, perhaps magnified in hilariousness by his big glasses.

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Then there was the nosy aunty, the mistress and the friend at a funeral.

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And oh hello Priya! Ooo, hello nurse!

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This was probably the coolest in terms of cinematography, where another actress and a guy act out a flashback. "My father cared for me, I know he did."

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"And then he made love to me." The nurse recounts a rose-tainted story, but that wasn't what really happened.

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A choral speaking session mocked the Tak Nak! campaign. Reuben (also the producer) was hilarious as the stoner dude.

If I bothered to take pictures as discreetly as everyone else, I'd have better pictures, oh... I know it. Also bumped into Grace the official photographer.

It was only after the show that I discovered why Elaine's pictures always seemed blurry. Her S7000 was set to manual focus! (And being a big prosumer camera, it remembers the setting because it has its own switch.) I then set it to auto focus. I'd hate to imagine if that thing was on all this while, since she uses Auto mode most of the time! She still posts interesting conversations, so go read her anyway.

1) Bring your mother along.
What if she was a MILF?

2) Go watch a kids' movie!
If it gets preachy and boring, you'd still have to act decent. In front of the kids and parents. What more if your mother was there too.

3) Pay for an expensive meal.
What if the guy wanted to break his RM50 note? (You see, guys don't carry around coin purses...)

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(Picture put on blog without permission of Aardman Studios; I took a picture of the screen, but hey I bought the original DVD okayyy...)

4) Speak in the f-language.
Itfit isfis afanoyfoyyingfing tofoo befee refeminfindedfed offof whenfen youfoo werfer ninefine andfand girlsfirls justfust disfiscofaverferredfed thisfis. (Guys, never let them know you understand, or they'll never stop. Also, I have reason to believe that the f-language, if I remember properly, was not supposed to rhyme; "what is" became "whatfa isfi" instead of "whatfart isfis".)

5) Swear loudly.
Busybody Malaysians know exactly who to divert their darty eyes to. No, not the swearer. The guy.

Note: Post is written in jest and is not meant to draw reference to any events that may have happened.

So you've always thought you were smarter than the rest. Come prove it, by taking the Malaysian Mensa IQ Test!

What: The Malaysian Mensa Scrabble Challenge 2006, where there would also be two rounds of testing.
When: 1:15pm and 5pm (testing sessions) or 8:30am (registration for Scrabble, if you're interested)
Where: Avenue Food Mall, 10th floor, Berjaya Times Square
How much: RM35 admission test fees (as for Scrabble click here.)
Why: To be a certified smartass. Oh you meant Scrabble? To be a certified wordy smartass.

No, I won't be there, I don't play Scrabble, and I already took the test.

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So Bernard had one of these babies lying around. The Fujifilm Q1, a 2 megapixel camera. He'd never used it, and for good reason too; it was a lousy camera with pictures that looked like they came out of a webcam. And yes, it does have a webcam function as well. Or maybe it's a webcam with digital camera functions.

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Its macro mode was 60-120cm! That would account for all arm-held camwhoring. However, I then realized why my Fujifilm A202 had less shaky pictures compared to my later Canon Powershot A400 - its maximum shutter speed was 1/15th of a second, compared to the A400's 1 second.

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And here it is, with a Hoya R72 filter handheld; it automatically selects ISO200 (or ISO100 depending on brightness) with a fixed aperture of F3.5. It also has a fixed focus from 120cm to infinity. This was at 1/15th of a second, no post-processing, just resize.

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In comparison, the Canon Powershot A520 needs a bit more than 1/4th of a second to get approximately the same exposure. However, the trees are brighter than the sky here; this could be because of wind giving the leaves motion blur. A histogram cannot be compared directly, because the Canon Powershot A520 captures a wider picture. However, it can be said that the Q1 is two stops more sensitive to IR light, and if the A520 would become 10 stops slower in shutter speed with the infrared filter on, then the Q1 would drop 8 stops.

And maybe, after operating on the Q1 to make it fully infrared sensitive like my webcam, I will buy an xD card for it, if I like the pictures. Hopefully, removing the IR cut filter won't make it lose that much focus (not that it was ever good at that anyway.) At least the flash seems to give some infrared illumination, so I could use it in the dark, but not in macro, as flash cannot be enabled in macro. The xD card can then spur my lust for the Fujifilm F30, an upcoming point-and-shoot with good noise performance, going up to a digital SLR's ISO3200.

Let's justify why your good pal is sluggish to reply to chat at his house. The culprit is:

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Yes that's right kids, it's too dark to see the letters to the right of C. Or rather, the letters were dulled with just two years of usage. I'd type out the word to later realize that I hit off-target keys!

Alas, I was shortly a whore to corporate goods, desperate; I just purchased the Logitech as I had acquired a fresh PC. It used a littler jack so I figured I'd replace, with the good ol' classic 101-keyer quite likely to repeat L's.

Guess what? I used to draw key layouts to whither away dull classes at school. Oh, woe!

I guess I could do without those letters; after all, I dodged their usage for this article.

I've been wanting to blog about this for almost a year already. Here comes Albert's list of blogs who he looks up to for inspiration, wishing he could write like that.

Are there any rules to this list? No overrated, overlinked blogs. Blogs that only bloggers read, and not read by non-blogging people who don't leave links when they comment. Blogs like they were in 2000, before the advent of digital cameras. Heck, what happened to the classic mysterious, alluring camwhores? They used to lead our imaginations wild on a 100x100 pixel picture alone!

I think some of the more famous bloggers will steal some of these links and propel them to a bastardly stardom. NNNOOO!!!

Circus Itch
A bunch of people with articles that speak the truth. Word. I don't even know which of these pseudonyms has my Lord Of The Rings trilogy book.

Scherzquin
Her Seinfeld-esque introspections makes me wish I had time to rush from the toilet, when I have the most time to introspect, to blog. But all we ever do online is play MSN Solitaire Showdown.

Sykurlaus
I love her paragraphing, and laidback, casual delivery. And those occasional imaginative transdimensional realms she goes through.

Prosaicwhore
Now this, all you depressed-sounding self-pitying fakers, is real gothic. Vivaciously bombastic, arduously scientific and yet truly poetic.

May Yee
May Yee, I can't believe you hid this from me so long. Have we been too preoccupied with MSN Minesweeper Flags for you to tell me of your hilarious blog?

Davina
She always had a most captivating, humorous way of telling stories. However, meet her in person and you'd get to hear her corny jokes and see her hyper bunny cartoony persona.

Cheesie
Sorrylah, you're too famous already. Amusing and always a good light read, perfect for when you need a break and don't want to strain your eyes reading. Okay, and then there are the pictures.

Grace
I haven't seen such clear, sharp, vibrant colors in a while, with art and emotion in each picture. Olympus prosumer digicams (and their users) rock!

Lainie
I did not read her until we were properly introduced, and then it all made sense. We were in the scene. I saw a parallel in the way she wrote her disjointed long entries and mine (though I try to keep my blog entries to one topic these days). You know? Tell a story, then sidetrack a bit.

Jay
She has been funny from the days when I bumped into her Blogspot site. How do you make a punchline out of every story, huh? Huh?

And now, for the guys.

Joel
Dramatic sarcastic storytelling. He's just as funny on MSN.

Rudy
Funny and introspective, a young man's guide to getting some.

Bloodlet
When was the last time you laughed about repeated references to armpits and mantits? (No I do not have an obsession with them.)

Evening Drama
These bunch of funny guys who wrote articles and flamed each other were funnier when they were still on this blog site. Told you so.

The Silent Room
My camera geek buddy also writes some thought-provoking articles. The few pictures that he puts up... they tell stories.

DJ Phuturecybersonique
He was known as the walking talking DNS server back in Astro, for good reason - he was our ultimate technical reference. He also coded his own blog, and inspired me to do the same.

There was also Bazlitography, whose site died. I don't know where he is anymore argh! Beautiful pictures, with superb composition and emotion.

Jamasia had its one year old celebration on the 25th of March, 2006. I think it was a wee bit older than that, though, because I first saw Frequency Cannon there, and I'd seen Frequency Cannon as early as 2004.

And in case you're wondering why only Jamasia gets wished happy birthday, it is because there was free flow of alcohol for 1.5 hours!

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I used slow shutter with flash/night scene for these pictures; we had free flow, and Alda, playing for Cosmic Funk Express, opened the show, so he could not enjoy such generosity. But here, I sorta feed him Carlsberg.

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Zack Kim deftly avoids the lights...

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But ends up inebriated anyway. Somehow I feel these picture effects work best to describe the music Cosmic Funk Express plays.

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Stonebay. Don't be jealous and turn green Mr. Bassist, I finally take a picture of someone other than the singer with his eye-catching guitar and rainbow-colored beanie.

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Throne Away, with One Buck Short's drummer. Apparently, only Rudy the drummer can sing the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious part in Midnight In Madrid.

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Beat The System, playing nu-metal and some old-school. Perhaps I should've spun the camera upwards to make fiery streaks instead.

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Natalie of Dragon Red. They did a few covers, like sneaking in a verse of Estranged - Chocolate Syrup, and Amil playing the intro riff to Deja Voodoo Spells - I Am What I Am.

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Adam and his little pocketable partner in crime, Mozzie. They do A Perfect Circle - Judith well.

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He also has aspirations to be the gloved one.

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Slyde, for a rabid fan.

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Edge Of Fire was again short of members, so their falsetto-loving vocalist played guitar too. It was a treat to see him sing Guns & Roses - Welcome To The Jungle, at a key too high that we could see his eyes popping out.

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Shirtless as usual, Ainol entertains with a drum solo. Deja Voodoo Spells pulled a clever one on the crowd - Rithan started with a Hendrix-ish intro, but played Nirvana's Breed and Lithium (and Green Day - Basket Case) note-by-note. This might be to celebrate his nomination for best vocal performance in the AIM, perhaps?

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The crowd asked for Jimi Hendrix, and he obliged with Fire. When asked for more, he brought out a guest guitarist and drummer, who ripped out Stevie Ray Vaughn's version of Little Wing!

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Adam joins to sing Strangely. Also, Mie becomes the official bassist of the band.

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Vespertine found it very tough to follow Deja Voodoo Spells. The bassist looked like he was mourning (or was he the one being mourned for, being that stiff?)

Here come some gig pictures, from March.

17th March 2006 - Accoustica, Jamasia

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Zack of Deserters started a drone to play in the background to his atmospheric music. Which really, wasn't very acoustic.

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Neither was Khai, but acoustic basses are hard to come by, especially leftie ones. Okay, so Khai can play with a right-handed bass upside down without any restringing, as seen in the picture.

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Saiful shreds on acoustic. The only difference between an electric Y2K and an acoustic one is the distortion.

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Estranged was the most interesting acoustic act; they jazzed up Catch You Later, After All (complete with jazzy solo) and Chocolate Syrup.

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For Kembali, KC, Hanafi and Azwin Andy sung harmony. For some reason I think this picture is cute.

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Stonebay was next with grunge on acoustic, the heartfelt way it was meant to be.

22nd March 2006 - Olive Room Sessions

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Reza was playing, and when he was mingling in the crowd, I asked him how he made those special effects on his blog. Night mode with flash and a very jerky hand was his answer. I suppose this would have been easier in a club where it's dark enough.

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Or maybe it was meant to be a camwhore effect.

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Izzy the singer-songwriter.

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Reza joins Isaac Entry the reggae-tinged blues guitarist (whoever said he uses the same three chords should be shot informed because three chords is the point of blues) and his harmonica player.

Here's a nice, lengthy blog entry in the vein of travelling. Yeah, that's why I have a blog category for that, for those stories that eventually become anecdotes, y'know?

Anyway. On Friday, the plan was to bring stim-girl and birthday-girl to the gay bars. Yeah. So I called at 6pm, and birthday-girl was about to head over to stim-girl's house. In an unrelated daze, I wandered into Amcorp Mall, plunked some coins down for Daytona at the arcade, and released bummerness and frustration... in manual transmission.

See, even in moments of down-ness, I intend to do something that betters me. I've been good at automatic and a bit of braked drifting in intermediate, but I was shit at manual, and all that 1-3-4 in the last curve.

So I called birthday-girl at 7pm, and she wasn't there yet! So I headed to Midvalley out of nothing-to-do-ness. Took the LRT to Bangsar, and hopped onto a free bus. Why'd I go there, despite having been there many times that week? To check out one phone price, in one shop. I have also been checking out digital SLR lenses of late, because really, that matters more than the dSLR body itself. Evil temptation. The Sigma 28-200mm F3.5/6.3 was small and cute, and relatively cheap, though not too far in price from a Canon. Yeah, all the talk about Canon 350Ds has been getting to my head.

I bumped into Jenifur, also walking aimlessly in a I-don't-go-home-that-early-on-Fridays daze, and we took a bus to Pasar Seni, where I hobbled on to KL Sentral to meet stim-girl and birthday-girl. We took the monorail to Bukit Bintang, and took the scenic walk to Little Havana, place of wonderful hawaiian pizza with extra stretchy cheese and pineapples.

I planned that we'd get a foot massage between then, and the gay bar we were going to. Yes, birthday-girl was a newfound lesbian, and I'd jibe her repeatedly, saying she was gonna get some tonight. Because well, it's just fun, saying what you'd normally say to a cowardly guy, to a lesbian. Yeah. So I get cheap thrills from different situations.

We didn't have time for the foot message (oh well, there goes the first ever time I'd pay for a foot massage, since I've always been freeloading off OSIM chairs) so we walked past Frangipani, and we reckon it was guy night. Uh, right, pass.

We then got on the newfangled RapidKL buses, quite funky those. Got us to Medan Pasar, right smack in front of Liquid. I was initially apprehensive, thinking it was mostly a gay but not lesbian hangout. However, all apprehensions flew out the window, and I stopped guarding my butt with my hands when I saw how empty it was! (And entry was free, and I'm a sucker for free things y'know.)

Inside, there was a private party in The Studio; there was a big congregation of girls in one corner, and the gays were sitting outside looking cool. The girls got up to dance, and again, I suggested that birthday-lesbian dance with them, since she was checking them out. But she was chicken shit. So we danced together in a sad circle and later lay flat like starfishes, absorbing techno beats from the cushions.

Another friend finally experienced the electro-clash dance rock goodness that is Twilight Action Girl, and so we headed to Zouk in a cab. Oh no, Zouk got smart and started charging RM20 for entry to The Loft on Fridays! Us being broke, we were hesitant about entering, as we would not be able to get a cab back after that.

I then saw DJ Bunga at the entrance (who has the funniest blog ever), and he said, "hey, you went inside justnow, right?"

"Uh... no? How ah?"

I then realized that I was supposed to say YES! and bring me and friends in! We waited another round before getting in for free.

Different types of alcohol do well to give me a good rest on Saturday.

Anyway, Sunday morning; I went to Midvalley to catch V For Vendetta (and catch up) with Leech. She wanted to eat Japanese food, and uh... well, I shall clarify this, as much as I'd hate to have to, knowing how many hot chicks like Japanese food.

I think some Japanese food is a rip-off. Such small units of food! (No wonder Japanese are small.) I don't fancy seaweed, and Japanese crackers are just a weiiird kind of salty. I'm alright with wasabi though, but I'm allergic to a lot of sea creatures. And hot green tea is served in a tiny cup! (Okay, so I didn't know it could be refilled.)

Teppanyaki Sungei Wang rocks though. I love the flavor and the whole oily fried meat thing with crispy crunchy things on them. Too bad some people hate taugeh, eh.

Anyhoo, back to V For Vendetta. Cool movie. Too bad they didn't really explain why people feel the need for control. Control versus freedom will never be a stable seesaw. In a sense, it seemed like an infantile rebel-call. We are just sheep, waiting for someone to lead us.

At least the army is trained, and it knows and understands why it has to move as one unit.

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So yeah, we had Bento. With what little knowledge I had learned from some diagrams online, I attempted to eat my large Bento meal using chopsticks. I had to say, that chopsticks allowed me to appreciate food slowly, and bit-by-bit. Whereas if I used a fork and spoon, I'd mix up rice and morsel, and not be able to savor it as intimately as I did with chopsticks, alternating between sauced meat and plain rice.

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I hopped on a bus to Central Market, and found these buskers with amplifiers! They even have a mike.

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There was also an inebriated man, enjoying the music.

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Terima kasih! Yeah brader, you rock too!

The buskers then apologized and said how they meet people from all walks of life.

I then headed to Pertama Complex and finally found a shop that sold the elusive Metallica - Some Kind Of Monster rockumentary DVD. Had to order, though. The only Chinese in the place were the handphone salespeople.

I then met up with Gabra superstar to watch Gubra. He brought some friends, and then some surprises (which you'd see on his blog soon enough).

I prefer the prequel, Sepet, though. Gubra was more life-documentation than Sepet, which was love-progression. And it didn't help that we came in a bit late, and only saw the other characters much later. They didn't get much screentime, and only seemed to serve the purpose of rehashing old Petronas ads. Still, that will touch hearts and make us laugh at the irony.

I preferred Gubra's film quality to V For Vendetta's. In V For Vendetta, there were a few scenes where there is a conversation between V and Evey, and the film quality changes; for example, when it points to Evey, she has an apparent lo-fi digital motion blur, as if she was being viewed from V, in cyborg-vision. She was also often slightly off-focus. Gubra, however, had no such problems, with well-done focus transitions, and excellent color rendition (though there was a green cast in the outdoor night scenes.)

I think it's quite scary how I've become a Director Of Photography by accident.

I also think it's quite scary how I'm writing this blog entry; I think I've been reading too much Lainie.

Here comes the last batch of Troubadours pictures - this time, from the Troubadours/Open Doors gig on the 19th of March 2006, at the Indicine, KL Performing Arts Centre.

I don't remember much of the first short film, other than a lot of clouds.

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Khai starts the musical set on an upside-down-restrung-leftie guitar, with classic singalongs from his Khaimano days, including the ever-so-relevant This Is Black Metal.

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Rhapsody the jazzy duo.

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The projector was interfering with the photos, yes indeed, even from the side.

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Taking a picture with flash was not enough to get rid of the projected light, so I had to change to manual mode, 1/500th of a second to darken the effect of the projector.

Then came a short film. Liew Seng Tat's Flowers was a most vivid, disturbing short film about what I reckon is an old lady reminiscing about her affair with a Japanese soldier during the Japanese occupation. Except, of course, that the flashback is in color, and the old lady doesn't look any younger. Kudos to the director for also being the star, the Japanese soldier (just like how Khai was the star of Ciplak). Yeah, there were scenes. Like Fazri said, "My eyes! Argh my eyes!"

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Jerome Kugan the Morrisey-isque, amazing falsettoed singer. He sings over techno beats he programs himself!

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His laptop plays his beats.

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To equalize the exposure from the screen and him, I used flash at 1/80th of a second shutter speed.

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He dances, feels the music, and his expressions are truly in tune with the space and time vortex conjured by his dreamy soundscapes.

I wrote a song.

Many, many years, I tried
I got smashed up, and I cried
I've never met someone
Who says you don't need that to have fun

You'll be better than an object
You'll be my main subject
Because you are who you are
You can ride in my car

You're my best friend
You're my start and my end
You call people from my phone
You set friends up so we can meet alone

You know how I feel
You've got such appeal
But I ain't ever letting you
Meet a friend or two

You know, we could relate
Your earnestness I appreciate
There ain't a kinder soul
In this big, scary world

Sensitive to my sensitivity
Positive to my negativity
With you I am truly happy
Best friends we are, you and me

And now, for pictures at slower shutter speeds than normal.

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Ching on a swing.

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Shoes for the blues. (I'll blog about my unique shoelace tying sometime.)

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Longer exposure at Endah Parade.

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Somewhere in between, and...

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Fast shutter to catch the splutter.

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We now teleport to Dataran Merdeka.

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I used a polarizer to shoot through glass; this was in the aquarium at the entrance to the National Science Center.

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I used the optical viewfinder, pointing the crosshair at the fish's head, to trace its motion.

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Looking... not so sharp.

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Gyroscopes are fun.

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The engine was actually rotating inside a display case. I walked around the engine to get the rotating motion blur in the background. Great fun for photographer geeks wanting to burn time. Besides, who'd recognize you at a science center but other geeks?

Here comes another random batch of pictures, with the theme of uh... dramatic light.

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A solar panel and a windmill at KLPAC! A spiral windmill should be much more efficient, as it is able to take kinetic energy from the wind coming in any direction.

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Metal rope for a swing. Yeah, the pictures will be from KLPAC until I say otherwise.

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Skybox.

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Factory-side.

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And I thought this was an abandoned building. Turns out it was an art gallery.

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Nearby, the Sentul Koi Centre attracts flying insects.

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Mona Lisa smiles to us at Nagas, a high-class mamak opposite the Brickfields Police Station.

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As I walked up the road to my home, I saw this creepy green glow.

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Since I'll probably forget to put the answer if I asked "where does the green light come from?" on the previous picture, I might as well put the answer here. Press the button and it changes to red!

I finally obtained enough exposed film negative to make my infrared lamp. Thanks smashpOp for the accidentally exposed film!

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Left: All wrapped up. At least 6-7 layers of film, I think. This is what it looks like to the human eye when turned on. Right: What it looks like to the camera (with flash.)

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What it looks like to the eye. No wait, what the eye looks like. Eye bag you.

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The 40 Watt lamp allows me to get hotter, brighter infrared shots. This was at 0.6 seconds shutter speed.

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At the same time, it's fun to play with long exposure times. The bluish tinge is infrared.

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And more, now in infrared only.

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KL Performing Arts Centre, oh how I adore thee and adore taking pictures of thee.

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Same goes for thee neighbor, Sentul Park. More coming up soon. Like real soon, because I've already post-processed the pictures.

For once, I sat close enough to the stage in Jamasia, Hartamas, to get nice, bright shots at minimal optical zoom, allowing for big apertures, thus better exposure. The occasion? Heart Rock, a charity gig.

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Broken Scar started the set with his Emily The Strange Epiphone SG.

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Zack of Cosmic Funk Express rips out three thousand notes in a spacey, mind-bending frenzy. You can see the effect on Alex, the drummer.

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As for Alda who was standing on the bass drum, well, he just loves beer. His bass had to be retuned halfway, and so Zack unveiled his touch-tapped version of the Doraemon theme song!

We were also treated to Alda's vocal debut, singing Red Hot Chili Peppers' version of Jimi Hendrix - Fire.

Needless to say, we'll request for Eric Johnson - Cliffs Of Dover next time.

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Stonebay's grungy vocalist has a pretty guitar.

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Naked Breed, featuring Melina of Tempered Mental. Interestingly, Tempered Mental would feature Jack The Shredder of Naked Breed.

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Guitarists might recognize this neo-classical and blues shredder from Bentley Music, filling in, in Edge Of Fire. Shaun Ng was also the first ever webdesigner for Xfresh, but that was ages ago.

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Daniel of Edge Of Fire, in my opinion, is the only handsome Korean-looking Chinese guy there is.

What's with you not-exactly-prepubescent girls and your obsession with slanty eyes and long dragged faces? I knew a girl who had good taste (in looks anyway.) Then comes Korean-looking Chinese boy and she's nuts about him and how he's so cute. I do not consider a guy who has such a long stoned face and doesn't smile or even smirk when camwhoring with girlfriend... cute. Do I have to slap some expression into you? Dammit, you got yourself a hot chick, don't look so sad okayyy.

Note that I say Korean-looking Chinese guy, not Korean guy, because Zack is da shiznit, and is the sensation on YouTube.

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Anyway, back to the story. Shaun broke a string. Oh no what do we do? Fear not! The band plays an acoustic cover of Mr. Big - To Be With You.

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Polar Attraction, with Jaya Satriani. Even spacier than Cosmic Funk Express.

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One Buck Short ends the set. How the heck do you play after a shredder band?

In unrelated news, I got the chance to play with a Canon EOS 350D at a later gig. Yes that's right, a digital SLR camera! My friend had a Canon 17-85mm, F4-5.6 lens on. That combination was sweet, but the lens had a prohibitive price (and anything with a bigger aperture would cost at least 4 times more), and it wasn't that bright either, so I kept to ISO1600 at all times. Manual focus was only fun when it was bright enough, plus the viewfinder could be so much bigger. It was only much later that he revealed the Speedlite 430EX he was carrying, but I was lazy to test it out. Besides, flashing isn't my preferred style.

This is why I would not get a digital SLR - I would not be pleased with it. I already know the limits of what I can afford!

Forget lion dances for Chinese New Year parties, Chinese acrobats are the true dextrous... acrobats. And yes, these pictures were taken on the 11th of February 2006. :(

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Left: Women wear many masks. Right: Men speak in tongues, specifically those that sound like birds chirping. Below: Men with many hats like to jump about and exchange dandruff.

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Left to right, top to bottom: The boy is well-balanced; he then attempts an Acme-like seesaw launcher, launching metal bowls onto his head; he succeeds; a man saddled with too many footballs; he believes that the glass is upside down, and thus cannot hold water; he then tries to hold a few storeys of cups and a vase; the cleaner lady wants some limelight too, when the acrobat fails and drops the glass cups, smashing all over the floor.

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Top left and right: What a flat-headed young lady she will turn out to be. Walking with pots on your head is never easy, much less spinning them, then tossing them so they land on your head and while continuously spinning. Middle: Catch the bricks in midair. He'd play a fine game of Tetris. Bottom: FREE FLOW OF (CRAB) SHARKSFIN SOUP! Too bad I was allergic to crab meat, so yeah, no refilling for me.

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"Oompa! Loompa!" sings in my head.