Pay a cybercafe and say you'll play
Died in Counter-Strike? Do you take a hike?
Or wait and stay till the fray is at bay
And spike the tike in glee revengeful psyche?
Does gravity simply make you happy?
Does school pressure push you to that measure?
I vie to rectify, detonate high
Pleasure life's treasure so I'm a dasher
Do you run away, escape with a gun?
Shoot your foot and I wouldn't give a hoot
In foes I'd want slugs spun, drilled through till done
Conclude a dispute, don't go down the chute
If you'd commit the theft of your own breath
Tell me what is the deft depth in self death?

This blog entry will forever change your view of me. Of course, if you are used to my weird quirks, this will lessen the shock.

One fine day I was window-shopping in a popular shopping mall when my eyes noticed a huge influx of pretty ladies. (Yes, I am horny, and I do look.) Probably 2 in 5 females caught my eye. What a bountiful to wash my eyes with! :O

Anyway, I wanted to be able to track the trend. How? By counting them! At the end of my window-shopping session, I would take the number as an indication to how fair the weather was.

Of course, it would be too hassling to count and keep the number in my head, so I would have the assistance of my trusty handphone. Yep, that's right - a handphone can be used as a count keeper!

Keeping Count

The system I devised uses dots while writing a text message. The more eye-catchers, the more dots, and so the more score for the day.

I've only tried it with my Nokia 3315. How?

Start counting with a Nokia:
1) Unlock the keypad (if it's locked).
2) Press the softkey to access the Menu, select Messages, and then Write Messages.
3) Press Options, select Dictionary (if available) and then English.

You can now press the 1 key to type a dot. Even if you press lots of 1s in a row, it will still show as a dot, not any other character. Cool huh?

The Dots Score Awarding System:

If the face is physically attractive, you press one dot.



If the body is physically attractive, again, you press one dot.



Therefore, if both the face and the body is physically attractive, you press two dots in total.



Do not over-award anybody. Only a maximum of two dots can be awarded to anybody. Even if you know the person in real life (or that person is your special someone!) you do not give extra points. Period. (Or dots, if you prefer. :P ) Personality does not count - this is a totally superficial exercise. Go on about your 'beauty comes from the inside' mantra, but let it go if you go counting dots! :)

Counting the total:
You can either count it manually or take the maximum size of the message and subtract total characters used. Nokia's character subtracts from 459 or 160 characters, depending on the make of your phone. On the top-right corner, if you see 459/1, 459 is the leftover character count.

Example:
Leftover characters after typing dots: 387
Leftover characters in a blank message: 459
Total number of dots = Leftover characters in a blank message - leftover characters after typing dots
Total number of dots = 459 - 387 = 72 dots

Now divide the number by two to get your total number of physically attractive people you saw! :)

72 dots / 2 = 36 people

On an average 2-hour trip, I can get around 300 dots. On a school holiday (or a 4-hour walkabout), I can get 400-500. If I'm at a shopping mall all day, I can get over a thousand! (I kid you not, I record the numbers in messages.) Sometimes, however, for some unknown reason I see nothing worth counting on 1-hour trips.

Fun things you can do with friends

That's right - it's not a loner's game! Your friend can do it, too! If you're both heterosexual guys, you can go about doing whatever guys do in shopping malls, and on your way, count dots. Be honest. If you're the one with the lower dot count, it could be said that you have a higher definition of what is physically attractive. It sure beats wolf-whistling!

If you're a guy hanging out with a girl with absolutely nothing to do, you should go count dots for hot females. Meanwhile, she counts the guys. Again, be honest. You can then find out if there are more good-looking guys or good-looking girls in any one place. You can also access the threshold, whether it's true that there are more good-looking girls than good-looking guys (or girls' tastes are higher.)

The ultimate challenge, however, is to count dots for members of the same sex. That means being a heterosexual guy and counting guys. If the guy-dot-count is higher than a girl-dot-count, then you're either in a bad place or you may have deviated preferences. :P

Why you should dot

It's fun to be able to quantify the number of attractive people you see! It's also a great way to cure boredom. Just sit down at a coffee house, looking classy, poking your handphone and looking busy, when the passer-bys don't know how incredibly bored you are! =]

Plus, if you have a cool-looking handphone, it adds to the busy look. Heh. On the other hand, you could be a geek (which is highly unlikely considering the density and penentration of handphones in urban areas).

Findings

After accumulating over a thousand dots over a month, I noticed that:
- girls with pretty faces often have relatively well-off bodies, ranging from medium to small
- shapely bodies from behind may have not-so-interesting faces
- porportion-wise, there are more girls with bigger hips than busts than bigger busts than hips
- Asian girls are mostly shorter and underweight; there are more skinny ones than there are fat ones, and more short ones than there are tall ones
- I like medium frames best, but find small frames appealing as well
- I have a wide scope and high tolerance, and I'm not that picky
- my pickiness decreased as I learnt to appreciate all shapes and sizes, after loads of observation

I hereby finish my sermon. Now go in peace, and go count dots! (I tell you, someday, this will be a popular trend, and the ultimate tribute would be for me to be dotted. ;) )

P.S. Please please reply to my post with your findings. Include your dot counts as well! Suggestions on how to improve the system are welcome. What I don't need is people telling me I have no life (I already know that!)

Yes that's right. Yours truly idiot extraordinaire has lost all posts for after the 28th of August 2002 to before the 30th of September 2002. That's a month's worth. I will cry now.

/zimages/stickypics.jpg

From left to right (in any photo): Me (the washed out albino), KY, Kenny, Jasmine and KJ the porcupine-head.
Yeah, I know, I have relatively fair (or pale) skin, the envy of girls, but these pictures are exaggerated. Flashburn hit me, I tell ya! I did everything I could in Photoshop, burning my face, but to no avail. :(

Sticky Pictures. Once again, the capitalizing Japanese have come up with another fad. It's a picture booth with colorful, animated cartoon graphics. You plunk in a generous amount of coins to have a few shots taken in the booth, that then prints out your pictures on sticky paper. This is very much like those instant passport booths, just merged with the arcade. It even has a screen so you can see how you look. Cool huh?

Jasmine (the pretty lil girl in front) plunked in 8 Ringgit worth of coins. How much was that worth? It was more than a regular McDonald's McValue Meal, for one. For the 32 pictures we took (tired of smiling and crouching to get into the picture) I wonder if it was really worth the 25 sen each. (100 sen is a Ringgit or a Malaysian Dollar.) I got to keep 6. There were 8 of us, but only 5 could fit in!

Well, I've learned my lesson. If you have 2 people in your crowd with cameras *ahem*, don't use those booths. Oh, and 32 pictures are not worth it - the pictures are really small.

Don't expect fine prints either - upon close inspection any lesser-than-laser color printer could do that. You'd get clearer pictures with 16 or 8 pictures. (However many pictures, it all fits on one sticker of the same size.) The booths are more for the snap-happy Japanese, wandering tourists and people wishing to clear their pockets of coins.

I should stop whining, I didn't pay for it. =]

What I did that was worth mentioning:

I made the website remember your name and email address for both the Replies part of the blog and the Guestbook. If you have a horrendously long email address, be thankful that you don't have to type it out. :P

What I did (in real life) that was worth mentioning:

I went for the KLue UrbanScapes party, upon finding the under-your-nose restaurant Grappa Soho. Imagine me asking a friend over the phone directions, while walking towards it (and then after that, past it!) Don't blame me, the signboard wasn't lit. :(

Oh, what am I talking about? A tiny rock gig inside a birthday bash.

Don't-call-us-space-rock soundscaping rockers Damn Dirty Apes played their new simple-tune punkish song, which got the crowd in a frenzy. I finally got to see Chi-Ren (I thought that was a girl's name) singing Drift Away (Part 1). It was worth looking at how they play indeed. They shoegazed for quite a bit, before a wham on a pedal, and then *spin and jump* punk-style guitar-playing! Then, they hit the pedal again, and it was back to shoegazing. Wow.

Meet Emmett of the Butterfingers who poses with a violin nobody gets to hear, and a horn section which sounds like electric guitars. He was heavily fagging (or was that a disguised roach?) I don't know what smoke does to his lungs, but it sure was superb, be it his sustained wails and singing, which was relatively far from the microphone. The crowd bounced to the singles, to the point I wish I was on the other end of the room where the most pit was.

Yes, I went alone. Ironic it would be that the people who invited me couldn't come.

I'm sick of being Fong-Fei-Kei-ed (see definition) that I wrote modified lyrics for it! Yes, some of you may not like Linkin Park, but I like their song In The End nevertheless, and this is the tribute: Thinking Dark - This Weekend. Have fun singing along, especially DJCyberSonique who shares my pain!

MUTLIMEDIA

You guessed it right - I finally got my first year certificate for my Informatics International Diploma in Computer Studies, with majors in Business and Mutlimedia! How great is that?

So great that I have to wait another semester to get my certificate reprinted. So great that I have to be the picky perfectionist and notice that it's Multimedia and not Mutlimedia. Dang, now I'm even spelling it Mutlimedia by reflex.

Maybe it was not meant to be. Maybe I was meant to be a Mutlimedia dude, not a normal Multimedia dude. Why did I pick Multimedia/Mutlimedia and the Internet instead of Software Engineering? Simply because Software Engineering had C structures (too complex) and networking. (I didn't want to be opening floor tiles and crimping RJ45's!)

I wasn't really good with Multimedia proper. Perhaps, I am a breed, a hybrid of a programmer and multimedia dude, where my skills can only be quantified as that of a Mutlimedia graduate! A new class, surpassing all the rest! :)

On the other hand, I'll just tape my mouth and wait for the reprint. :P

Updated the About Me! page I have, with pictures of me! I have to satisfy my innate narcissistic quota by doing that.

The new Quotes entry is this:
"If you think I have a big head, wait till you see my mouth."

Oddly, there is a feeling of dejavu with that quote, like I had heard of it before. I wonder if my brain is secretly regurgitating stuff. Even pickup lines which I just coined like "Hey baby wanna free my willy?" and "I don't want to be friends, because that's only 1% of what we could be." sound like I have heard them somewhere before. If you have heard them before, tell me!

Maybe it's about time I recount my misadventures in my blog. How about that Thursday when somebody could've peeed on my left shoe? (As told here: Wet Adventure.) Or about Friday, when I had to change a tire in the rain, with waterproof bantings as shelter from the rain? At any rate, I figured I would fall in a swimming pool on Saturday! (I was out the whole day, but thankfully it didn't happen to me.)

Oh yeah have you noticed on fast food joint counters, they have this "I'm (insert cashier's name)" on their display? I'm guessing this is so that it's easier to pick up cashiers at fast food joints (who are probably wishing to find a rich boyfriend or something, so they don't have to work, ha!)