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I went to a public loo
When a spurt of water came down my left shoe
The guy at the urinal to my left
Looked professional, didn't flinch, and was deft
I first thought that his aiming
Hinted that his devices needed calibrating
I washed off at the emptied stall behind
A high-pressured hose I would find

For the majority who use Microsoft Internet Explorer, you are in luck. An exclusive, proof-of-concept skin, showing off the power of my elite JavaScript skills, has been made!

Meet the Round skin. It makes blog text actually appear to be in a circle! However, the algorithm's not perfect, so it looks jagged at the edges, and maybe a bit heavy at the bottom. Also, HTML is disabled in the Round skin, so you can't click on any links inside the blog entries. :(

Of course, the Blueprint skin is still default for the rest of the browser world. You can also pick other Skins if these don't suit your picky eyes.

Don't come asking me for the algorithm. If you know how to get it, it's worth understanding. :P

It's time again for me to show off, so check out my cool Office Desktop! It's also linked from my About Me! page!

How's my life? Life should be good. It's the holidays. So why is it not good? Life is not good because the perception of you that everyone has agreed upon has finally dawned upon you. You may think you're a saint, but when people assume you slaughter goats, you have to take action. You may think the line is drawn a mile away from where you are, but you might need your eyes checked.

In my case, it finally dawned upon me, seriously, of my arrogance. My deliverance of certain sentences, with certain intonations, give the impression that was not intended. To say that I sometimes don't intend it either would be a lie. For once, the deadpan sarcasm I once looked so high upon has betrayed me. I used to think deadpan sarcasm and a straight face was funnier than a punchline done with a smile. Sure, the joke told may be of more humorous value, but most people don't get my jokes. :(

I have to rant. At least I didn't jump out of the psychiatrist's office window.

Yes, reply, for it has been made easy! If you replied before, it remembers who you are (as in your name and email) so it doesn't bother you for it again! Cool huh? I am too sleepy for my usually bombastic fit-in-more-words-than-necessary self. There's also a weird salty taste in my mouth, but heck.

(A regular poem this time, too lazy to compose a sonnet!)

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My Internet Service Provider is really mad
I came online happy and now I am sad
I cannot be connected more than an hour
Without my download speed turning sour
I could hear static on the line
Which sent shivers down my spine
I could just go out and buy a new modem
But a Ferrari's no use in a jam

There is no image - the hint is in the last line! ;)

I relate to you this, my life so frail
I'm trapped and controlled, so rescue me please
I would go in circles and chase my tail
Would I get a bonus or badly miss?
Skinny as heck I eat but don't excrete
I expand and I keep getting bigger
Soon in this tiny world I will not fit
Life can be a maze but it's sometimes clear
I slide about, swerve, contort my body
Those who say the world is round are liars
I am sadly my own worst enemy
Or worst, a clone of me - are we brothers?
These suicidal numbers control my spine
One, two, three, four, six, seven, eight and nine

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Mutual understanding is what's hiding
The fact of life - they're like husband and wife
Both preventing, denying such thinking
Not being caught more than twice would have been nice
General knowledge gives the average
Guess that this mess they'll confess under stress
A mage turns the page to put them on stage
Suggest progress best get it off one's chest
Before a quake could shake apart and break
Cracked rust busted the crust till it was dust
Forsake the wide awake, to make a lake
Wishing one was here when near we should cheer
The ironic fear of someone so dear

I've updated my ever-wise, ever-think-twice-and-thrice-while-scratching-head-lice Quotes section! Now featuring 5 new quotes!

The wisest, I feel, for today, is this one:

"The truth is sealed behind many lips."

Sorry for spoiling the fun and telling you straight, but these are my interpretations:

1) The original - people aren't frank with each other, often keeping secret things they dislike about each other behind their lips, so to speak (or not speak, geddit?) Everybody these days are afraid to offend each other. And so, the truth is sealed behind their lips. (Thanks to Shom for giving me a mental link - I usually save my quotes when inspired on SMS, then forget the original meanings later! :( )

2) The lecherous - lips are associated with kisses, and so the truth can be found in a kiss. If love will set you free, (and so will truth set you free) and a kiss is a sign of love, the lips' kiss will set you free! You can also tell if somebody still loves you by the quality and feel of the kiss, whether it is honest, or forced.

3) The secretive - (More credit to this translation from Shom...) People feel proud to keep secrets. They feel power; an advantage in knowing they know something someone else doesn't. Everybody has pieces of the truth which they keep to themselves selfishly. As such, nobody can claim to possess the whole truth, since other people are hoarding missing parts of the jigsaw.

4) (Reply with your own version!) Yes that's right - click on the Replies link for once, and move your fingers! I am lazy to think of more, but I am sure the intelligent and mentally vociferous can come up with some brilliance, eh?